"Our visions begin with our desires" - Audre Lorde ![]() One of hardest roles I undertook as a young actor was from William Wycherley's The Country Wife. In this Restoration Comedy a lascivious man satisfies his lust for women by pretending to be impotent to gain the trust of his propspects' fathers and husbands in order to throw them off his scent. At the time I was a student minister and to say I lived in my most restricted mind-set would be a complete understatement. Don't get me wrong, spriritually the other ministry leaders and I were boundless. We experienced unfathomable spiritual accomplishments. However, everything has balance and the cost of such boundless spirituality was a complete disconnect with my earthly needs, my core desires, and my understanding of pleasure. Not only could I not connect to a fool who would pour so much energy into sex, but I also lacked sympathy with such a base desire. Frustrated with my lackluster portrayal, my director/teacher pulled me aside and said, "Emotions are like water from a faucet: you can't turn off one without turning them all off." As an actor I felt doomed; As a spiritualist, confused. My director/teacher had laid plain a structural rift in my identity I'd be forced to bridge were I to ever be the man I was called to be. I had created a dichotomy in my mind, and thus my life, between Pleasure/Desire and Divinity/Spirituality, and it wouldn't be until I was much older and reconnected strongly to my sense of self that I would realize there was not only no need for this separation, but also that this dichotomy was dangerous and debilitating. Most "civilized" cultures spend a great deal of time restricting the natural desires of our hearts. One can analyze Human Desires and see clearly that pleasure drives people forward. Passion fuels creativity, emotions reflect mental health and expression, longing drives us to connect and seek life outside of self, and sex... well it leads to procreation. Even if you don't have sex to have children, that primal urge leads to you satisfying the unspoken needs of your psyche and body. Think Dopamine and other healthy responses the body experiences during sexual expression and you begin to understand how vital these passions are. So why do we restrict them? The danger of leaving any pleasure or desire completely unchecked is addiction. Dopamine is a powerful chemical. It and other endorphins condition us to rely on a constant state of happiness. Anyone who's been authentically happy will tell you that true happiness is a conscious decision that occurs when you experience something lucidly and can walk away having learned, grown, and made peace with yourself and that experience. It's not based on chemicals released to induce a temporary state of bliss. Overindulgence is another manifestation of unchecked desires and passions. As an artist I have found myself overproducing creatively as a means of gaining control of my life or escaping emotions that I didn't want to face or couldn't understand. A lot of people have trouble seeing the harm in this; afterall what danger are we in from too much art, right? Think of your favorite artist, actor, or singer and remember a time when they produced some of their greatest, most transcendent works and then committed suicide. There may not be a pipe or needle on the scene, but over-creation is no less dangerous than addiction: both are symptoms of a larger unfulfillment or unexpressed desire or passion. So how does one chase one's desires in a healthy way? In a world that shames and judges others, it can be an extraordinary feat of will to balance our desires & passions with divinity & spirituality, when in truth one side cannot function without the other. Following our passions and desires is actually the key to realizing our divinity and spirituality. When we are told to "Delight ourselves in the Lord and He will give us our hearts' desires," we are being reminded that the path to our spirituality comes from our pleasures and delights in life and leads to the fulfilment of our deepest desires: our unique purposes. That is to say, as we truly take the time to learn ourselves, heal from the influences and restrictions of others, and embrace our true passions we awaken our hearts' desires and discover our true self and unique gifts. This is the point of Passion & Desire. They keep us motivated to Divine Realization & Spiritual Truth. Like Yin and Yang they are merged, and when in balance they support each other fully. So measure your wants. Hear them. Listen for them. Explore them within reason. And no matter what happens as you do, know that it is part of your journey toward God and self-realization. Know Thyself; Love Thyself; Heal Thyself. Amen.
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AuthorJeremy the Healer Archives
January 2017
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