In the past I've made the mistake of sharing my dreams with people. See, I'm a talker... and often I talk things out to hear how they sound and to separate ideas from the others rushing through my quick mind. It was part of my process. But what I hadn't yet realized was that I was sharing my dreams with people before I had given them time to incubate and become strong enough to manifest. And people being people would kill them.

There's a number of reasons people destroy others' dreams. Mostly due to their own pain, fears, and self-loathing because of their own failures, but the fact remains: People kill what they don't understand. And no other person is meant to understand what is placed in your heart but you. It's why you were created. And since you are unique, so is your dream.

Being made in the image of God, we ourselves are creators. We are meant to give life to that which is inside us. That which was entrusted to us since conception. We call those seedlings "Dreams" because that is how our subconscious reminds us of our purpose: through our dreams. But these ambitions are ours to realize, nurture, protect, and eventually give to the world. Every person alive is a trailblazer meant to carve our unique paths through our world.
Do not let the fears,limits, and shame of others kill your unique gift before you even give birth to it. Guard your heart! It is the wellspring of your life! It is your purpose!
​
And the next time someone shares their gift/dream with you and you don't understand it, remind them that their path is unique and yours is not to understand but to love and support them unconditionally and without hesitation (even if you cannot be a part of their vision).
​Know Thyself; Love Thyself; Heal Thyself. Amen.

We live in tumultuous times. Everyone is looking for someone or something to be offended by. Everyone wants a label to identify with and a new fight to win. And while we have the power to affect change in the world it exhausts us because we're sending all our energy outward instead of inward. Usually the battle we should be fighting is within ourselves.

We all know recently Police Officers have been murdering citizens. How this is anything but an outrage to other American citizens is beyond my understanding, but as a Black Man I had to speak out. I shared my experiences with Police Officers and how I'd been profiled, mistreated, and lied on in court (the Officer, who works for the Court, straight up perjured himself and still won). I knew the system was rigged but every time I talked about it with someone (including other Black people) they told me how I could improve. They flipped it on me and told me how I was prejudiced against cops; that I needed to change.

They were right. In most aspects of my life my Christianity can be noted. I'm not an evangelist. It's not how God uses me. So I don't spend a lot of time ending sentences with "Praise 'im" or use "Jesus" as a tag line (though there was a time when I was young in Christ). Instead most people can tell by my life that something else is up with me, except for when I talked about Police Officers. That's when years of pain and rage from oppression, abuse of power, and socially accepted White Supremacy would come out. After one too many disconnected conversations with people about Racism and Police Brutality, I knew I needed to change something within me before I tried to return balance to a hurting world without.

Our hearts and minds color our perspectives. Everything we hold on to and allow ourselves to believe becomes a part of us and our reality. If we let go... If we turn our power within and heal, then we change our own perspectives and we change our reality. And because we're feeding ourselves love and healing, that well will never run dry; We will no longer tire or grow fatigued. As far as the cops and racism... Well it's easier to fight when you recognize your enemy's fear and hatred and aren't blinded by your own.

Know Thyself; Love Thyself; Heal Thyself. Amen.

Suicide & Depression are two of the darkest words in our language. When people talk about their struggles with either our first instincts include eye-rolls, deep sighs, high pitched comforts, or simply walking away. But why the stigma against thoughts of killing ourselves? Why do we shy from the darkness of wanting to stop life in its tracks? Why do we see Suicide & Depression as signs of infantile weakness?

When we get sick with the flu one of the first things we tell ourselves is "Stay in bed. Rest. Heal. You'll be fine soon." And we're right. So we do. And then we bounce back to our regular selves, only stronger having now inoculated ourselves against yet another strain of virus. Sometimes we're even silly enough to try to power through a cold that escalates and we watch ourselves deteriorate slowly until the walking pneumonia pulls us right off the campaign trail. Most people realize how terribly irresponsible that is. We look at the person who is sick and coughing on us (in the airport) like they're some sort of radioactive Kryptonite with the judgement of a selfish mule. "Seriously! Stay away from others until you heal!" We want to protect ourselves from their sickness, but we're also worried about their health & well-being.
But when people struggle with spiritual and mental illness... we're not nearly as compassionate or understanding. Instead we fall into tropes like "Get over it. You're still talking about that? God never gives you more than you can bear. This too shall pass. Keep on keepin' on." But what if we started understanding Depression as the Spirit's & Mind's way of telling us we need to stay in bed, rest, and heal so we can be fine soon? What if Suicide is a natural part of our psyche alerting us to parts of ourselves we no longer need or want around but have clung to out of fear or false comfort? What if 3 weeks alone in bed is exactly what we need to get over the weight of burden we've allowed to sit on our shoulders, or if killing some part of ourselves so that another part can grow is the season we are in?

About 7 years ago I was terminated for the first time in my life from a job I had attached my ego and identity to. I loved what I was doing and who I had become while there, and when it was snatched away from I was all but literally gutted. I had psychological trauma, PTSD, identity dissonance... the list goes on. Then I realized my termination led to fundamental changes within that organization and became a Martyr. This identity of the Martyr (fancy Victim) protected me from fully attaching to grief and nervous breakdown. And me and Martyr stayed together for quite some time until I began to lose myself altogether and repeat the cycle of self-sacrifice/victim in a lot of my life. I wasn't in control and I didn't recognize the person in the mirror. I felt trapped. I was sinking. The only way out was Death. So I killed the Martyr. I murdered the Victim. Seriously. I did a ritual during which I confronted those aspects of myself, thanked them for saving me, told them our time together was over, and released them. I did that ceremony with a lot of versions of myself that no longer served me, and I broke free of my past and healed my Mind & Soul.
​
Autumn & Winter are the seasons of Death & Transformation. What parts of yourself are calling out to be let go? What healing is your mind and spirit saying you need? Suicide & Depression aren't only natural cycles of the Mind & Spirit, they're essential for our growth.

Know Thyself; Love Thyself; Heal Thyself. Amen.